“They’re just being stubborn.” “They’re so defiant.” “They dig in their heels and won’t budge.” 😤

If you have a strong-willed picky eater, this episode is for you.

Here’s what I wish I could scream from the rooftops: Picky eating isn’t the problem. There’s something underneath causing the behavior. And sometimes? That something is temperament—your strong-willed, determined, obstinate child who feels like they’re constantly butting heads with you (and it’s usually the kid most like YOU 👀).

In this episode:

  • Why “they’re not picky, they’re just stubborn” misses the point entirely
  • The truth about strong-willed kids: not every child is like this (I promise!)
  • Why pressure = resistance for these kids (the more you push, the more they pull away)
  • How to get on the same team as your stubborn kid instead of fighting them
  • The “autonomy bank” concept—filling their need for control OUTSIDE of food

Here’s the reality: Strong-willed kids are more sensitive to pressure. They feel their environment more than other kids do. When you say “take three more bites,” they know you’re emotionally invested in something you can’t control. And that’s the PERFECT time for them to dig in their heels 💪

But here’s the good news—they’re not too far gone. They’re not too stubborn, too difficult, or too determined to be helped. You just need to work WITH their brain, not against it.

Think about it like leadership: Good leaders don’t micromanage (“press this button, now click here”). They empower people to make good decisions within the right boundaries. Same with your strong-willed kid—they need autonomy within a supportive structure you create 🎯

Tactical tips for strong-willed picky eaters:

  • Give them choices you’re okay with (where to sit, strawberry or blueberry yogurt)
  • Increase autonomy throughout the day so eating isn’t where it all gets channeled
  • Use narration and curiosity questions instead of demands (“Wow, these carrots are so crunchy!” vs. “Eat your carrots”)
  • Get them in the kitchen—let them learn risky, intensive skills and contribute to the meal

Remember: Your job is to decide what, when, and where. Their job is if and how much. Release the rest. Detach from the outcome that bruises your ego 🫶

✨ Want to understand what’s REALLY causing the picky eating behavior?

Grab the free training here! I’ll walk you through my 4-step process to reverse picky eating, go deep on root causes, and show you how to work with your kid’s brain—no more pressure needed.